Captured in Fleorgia

I made the 150 minute drive to Jacksonville on Wednesday to see my favorite band Nine Inch Nails. Bored, alone, and awaiting entry into the arena, I was spotted leaning against a light pole by Florida Times Union's Carol Keller. She told me not to move and look into her camera, and poof! I was forever frozen in time.
Aside from that flattering moment, the evening was surprisingly uneventful. There was a really cool looking Carnival/Festival happening across from the arena that I almost decided to ditch the concert for. In retrospect, I wish I had. While I love Nine Inch Nails and still believe they are one of the best live performers of the last twenty years, I'd seen their show only two months earlier, and contrary to advertisement, little had changed aside from the noticeably pathetic turnout and all of their once-breathtaking special effects screwing up and tainting the experience. I came away from the show wondering some things. Has Trent Reznor lost a step? The tech-heavy performance overshadowed the physical passion he used to pour into his shows. Am I getting old? Seeing NIN live was once a priceless experience, but for the first time I began questioning whether I spent too much to be there. Are both true, or was it just an off night for the band and for me? Should Jacksonville really be a part of Florida? It is so close to Georgia, and shares so many of its wonderful attributes, such as toothless McCain supporters, recently released convicts, and churches. Perhaps it was just an off night. I mean, they couldn't even get their logo right. Or perhaps I simply put too much stock in getting out of town for a night, ignorant the forthcoming Georgianess of Jacksonville. In any event, that horizon is gone. The next adventure involves a Theme Park in Georgia. Here's hoping it surpasses a technically challenged concert in the middle of the world's ugliest misplaced city.

Disney blows Universal out of the water via spring-action shooter mania!

It is June, and both Disney World and Universal Orlando have new rides to offer this summer. One is mindless fun, the other is a well-filmed but ultimately lame ride. The former is Disney's Hollywood Studios' Toy Story Mania, the latter is Universal Studios' The Simpsons Ride. Where did one go right and one go wrong? Let's take a look.

The Simpsons Ride at Universal Studios Florida
It seemed like an idea that couldn't miss. Well, it missed. The Simpsons Ride is little more than Back to The Future (the building's former tenant) with a different film. Granted, the film is amazing, but the motion simulation is so poor that one can barely enjoy it. This attraction would be more at home in a 4D theatre, perhaps one with partially moving seats like Universal's much more successful Shrek 4D. As a motion simulator ride, the motion is far too out of sync with what happens on screen, and there is so much hilarious stuff happening on screen that you'll get motion sickness trying to look around while being yanked in seventeen different directions (not to mention receiving repeated blows to the back of the head if you sit in the back row and are more than four feet tall).

What it looks like is The Simpsons writers and filmmakers more than held up their end, but Universal dropped the ball on the ride itself. The film is filled with that distinctly Simpsons humor and charm, most of it taking shots at the Theme Park culture that geeks like me just gobble up. The 3D graphics of the film itself serve as a bold departure from what makes The Simpsons The Simpsons, but it works. It's gorgeous and deserves a better forum to be witnessed in.

Here's hoping that one day it winds up in a different park or a different theatre better equipped to let the film be enjoyed without any barfing or concussions in the process. Good for one ride, but very little re-ride value.

Toy Story Mania at Disney's Hollywood Studios
Ironically, Toy Story Mania was the ride I didn't want to like. I am usually against the "glorified arcade game" rides, loathing Magic Kingdom's Buzz Lightyear for destroying one of my previous favorites, Dreamflight, and only now after years just beginning to warm up to Universal's Men in Black. But this time the arcade game ride has been done right. Disney accomplishes this by never pretending that this ride is anything more than a game. The ride is themed after one of the many carnival style midways that are normally filled with toothless guys who need a shower and probably have a criminal record. Instead the games are staffed by friendly Toy Story characters. Better yet, the games are free! Better still, you get to ride from game to game!
There is something so simple and innocent about this experience, and the games themselves are so addicting, that I could easily spend an entire day riding this thing if not for the beefy line it boasts and the sore hand that develops very quickly after pumping the attraction's spring action shooters for five minutes. I've already taken two trips to the park with two vastly different groups, and have witnessed people from ages 3 to 78, gay and liberal to straight and conservative, absolutely loving this ride. Is it simplistic? Yes. Mindless? Absolutely. Fun? Tons!

Disney has a hit on their hands, and it is in the perfect place. Disney's Hollywood Studios so desperately needed an attraction like this, and so did Disney's California Adventure, for that matter, where it has been cloned.

It looks like Disney has won this round. Universal has a lot more in the works, though, which should hopefully make things more interesting in years to come. So does Sea World, for that matter! But that's a whole different blog.

Shamu Oh Akbar?

What Disney does for us

There are a lot of Disney geeks out there, and although I try to pretend I'm above that sometimes, there's no denying I am one of them. I have grown up with Disney movies and theme parks and love them like family, which means I'm ecstatic when they do something wonderful, and personally wounded when they screw up.

Now there are different types of Disney geeks to be sure. Some suck up whatever Disney spits out as gold, some treat Disney like a drug and have their homes decorated with Disney themes, one for each room (I've seen this!), and then there are some who quietly enjoy the Disney brand. I'd like to think I am somewhere in the middle, and I'd also like to think the author of this excellent little essay is as well. Check this out. He talks about his childhood memories of Epcot Center's now-endangered-to-be-if-not-already-extinct Wonders of Life Pavillion, and a recent and probably final trip to see it as an adult. He really puts his finger on what a positive impact growing up with Disney can and often does have.